A Different Life, A Different World
by jacklavigne
Summary: The story, This Is What I Call Life, from Alex's point of view. What happens when the woman that never falls in love, finally falls for a woman she pays to love her?
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: Howdy friends, long time no see, no? It's been a while since I've posted, but I've finally finished this first chapter which will be one of three, or possibly four, for this story. This is a sort of sequel piece to This Is What I Call Life, but the story is from Alex's POV and I plan for the story to go a bit further than where it ended from Piper's POV. Though, the last chapter might be done from both Piper's and Alex's point of view, since it will be all new material for this story and I want to write how both characters feel by the end of this. Thank you all for your patience, and I should have the next part of this up in a couple of weeks, once I get back from my trip to the Gold Coast. (Hopefully I can also write up a few chapters to my other stories too, since I now have a new computer and a little bit of extra time. We'll see how things go.)_

_The song that I'm usually for most of the chapters of this story is, Take Me To Church –Hozier. This song obviously does not belong to me, but it's a good song and I believe that it fits Alex's characters quite well for this fic. _

_Thanks and I hope you all enjoy! Let me know what you think, guys. _

**A Different Life, A Different World**

_My lover's got humour, she's the giggle at a funeral_

_Knows everybody's disapproval, I should have worshipped her sooner_

_If the heaven's ever did speak, she's the last true mouth piece_

_Every Sunday's getting more bleak, with fresh poison each week_

_We were born sick, you heard them say it_

_My church offers no absolutes, she tells me, 'worship in the bedroom'_

_The only heaven I'll be sent to, is when I'm alone with you_

_I was born sick, but I love it_

_Command me to be well, amen, amen, amen_

_Take Me To Church - Hozier_

"There's a meeting at Litchfield tonight, and I need you to close some deals with a few new clients. Since Angus got bagged, our sales have dropped and Kubra isn't impressed."

"I'm meeting with ones of the kids at eight o'clock to discuss her last drop, but I can be there at ten. Are Red's guys still willing to do business?"

"Red tells me that they're more than eager to discuss things further," Fahri replies smoothly, though there is a hint of uncertainty in his tone that you pick up. "But the Russians... Kubra is not sure that we can trust them. If one of their guys were to get caught, he thinks that they'd sell us out without a second thought."

"Hm," you murmur in agreement, slightly distracted as you finish up your spread sheet. "Tricky."

"It's business," Fahri sighs. "I will see you tonight at ten, and don't forget our little meeting with Kubra next week in Berlin. His is looking forward to seeing you."

The line drops after those last few words, filling you with a sense of foreboding. Your work isn't exactly conventional and while Kubra can be quite pleasant, you would be an idiot not to fear him, at least a little bit. He is the man who could raise you higher than the stars if you worked hard enough and stayed loyal, but you could never quite forget the gun that he was constantly holding against your back, should you ever decide to stray. 

You make a few more calls and organise a flight to Bali for one of your mules before you push yourself away from your computer with a relieved sigh. Your job could be glamourous, with the considerable amount of money you earn, not to mention the constant travel and high end hotels, but sometimes you wondered if it was worth all the paperwork that kept you glued to your computer for hours every day. Not to mention the stress, which followed you everywhere, from the moment you woke up in the morning, until you went to sleep, with even some appearances in your dreams.

These thoughts were dangerous, you knew, and you never lingered on them for long, which is why you were one of the best. You knew the risks, knew that your life could end at any moment, whether it be from a bullet or from a police car outside your door and a ten year or more sentence, but those thoughts only made you push yourself harder, and made you better. You didn't want to die and you didn't want to get caught, so you strived to be the best, to be so good that there was no chance of your boss suddenly deciding to dispose of you while you also left no paper trail in your wake.

You leave your apartment and take a cab to a bar on the other end of town, where you have organised a meeting with one of your mules. The girl was young, barely twenty two, with a carefree attitude that made her perfect for the job but also made her a liability. Ten grand had gone missing on her last drop, which had to be replaced from your own pay check and you wanted to smash the girl's head against the table when she laughed away your warnings. From the new track marks on her arms, badly hidden, you knew exactly where that money had gone and decided to drop the girl as a mule and use her for a client instead. She was from a rich family and without the treats you'd been feeding her, she'd be crawling back to you in a few days for a fix and she'd end up paying you back double what she owed you.

You leave the bar and the girl behind and walk a few blocks to the club where you are supposed to meet Fahri and his new clients. You know the place and more specifically, the woman who owns it, though you know her adopted daughter better, having dealt to her for years before she went clean. You haven't seen Nicky in a few months and you wonder if she'll be at Litchfield tonight, since you've been meaning to catch up with her for a while.

You never could have expected how your life would change as you entered the club and lost yourself in the thumping music.

/

Litchfield is extremely busy, as it always is every time you have been here. The music is thumping, your heart beating in sync as you climb the winding staircase up to the roof. You think about how much you would rather be at home, in bed with a book, as you reach the final step, adjusting your glasses as you search for your group. Fahri spots you before you see him, pushing through the crowd until he finally reaches your side, his dark eyes cool and calm as always. He gives you a polite smile, not the type of smile one would give to a friend, but a smile for a well enough liked colleague. There was no point making friends in this business; people disappeared all the time, never to be seen or spoken of again and friendships just made things messy.

"Vause," he says your name with his silky smooth voice, with that same polite smile pulling at his lips. "Good of you to finally arrive. Our friends have been waiting."

"Sorry," you apologize with much more remorse than you feel. "My conversation with Clarissa dragged on longer than expected."

"Mules." Fahri said the word with a slight tinge of disdain in his voice. "The girl is lucky that Kubra did not pay her a visit for her idiocy."

"I dropped her," you reply. "But she'll stay around as a customer." 

"Good to hear." Fahri's attention was divided, you know by the small frown that is furrowing his normally smooth forehead. You follow his gaze and catch a glimpse of blonde hair and before you know it, Fahri is sliding past you with a soft, "excuse me, Vause."

You watch for a moment as he is swallowed in the crowd, heading towards the small bar on the other side of the room before shrugging your shoulders and making your way to the table where your new clients sit. They are a cheerful bunch, already half drunk and leering as you introduce yourself, and despite the fact you want to rip out half their tongues for the lusty comments you receive, you don't. This kind of clientele are the best kind, you know; the men who are inclined to drink and who would fall for any woman's charm.

Your charm, in particular.

And it doesn't take long at all before they're all eating right out of your hand, making deals and practically falling over each other to give you their cards. Fahri comes back as you're closing a business deal with an older man from Texas, but you barely acknowledge him or the girl he has brought with him. It's not until an hour later, when you're half-heartedly making conversation with an arms dealer from Indonesia, that you finally get a proper look at the blonde woman. She's having an animated discussion with Fahri and a few others about a short story by Virginia Woolf and you can't help but be entranced by the way her blue eyes light up as she speaks. She has long, wavy blonde hair, lightly tanned skin that covers an athletic body and a smile that could light up the darkest pit of Hell.

She looks familiar, but you can't place where you've seen her before

You watch her covertly and you know you're not the only one; more than half the men around you and a few of the women are absolutely besotted by the gorgeous blonde. There are people buying her drinks and asking her questions about her Smith college degree and the girl is lapping the attention up, like a puppy being petted after spending so much time getting kicked. It's not until you hear her name being spoken and then you understand why she's so familiar.

Piper Chapman.

Piper Chapman, Nicky's ex bed mate, in the flesh.

You've heard about her a thousand times over the years and you've seen her once or twice from across a crowded room, but you've never actually met her. Nicky was always somewhat secretive about Piper; you never heard any details outside of how hot she was or what an animal she could be in the bedroom.

And of course, she told you about Piper's job and exactly how much Nicky had to pay to get the girl into her bedroom.

You've met hookers before, but the low class kind; the ones who walked the streets in fishnet stockings and who begged you for a hit when you'd meet them in clubs. They never interested you before and you never found yourself even slightly curious about their lifestyle or career choice. You knew better than most what it was like to be broke and you never judged them for what they did, but the thought of selling your body for money had always made your skin crawl. It was not much better than rape, in your eyes, though you had met a few women and men who enjoyed their job immensely.

But this Piper girl was different, you could see that almost immediately. She wasn't low class, and she wasn't high class either, with the designer clothes and body guards, though several of the bouncers were watching her and the group discreetly. She was somewhere in the middle, with her gorgeous black dress that showed off her body and her carefully painted make up. You wouldn't be able to tell her profession at the first glance, or the second either for that matter, though her eyes gave away the fact that she didn't plan on going home alone. She was watching the men around her closely, sizing them up even as she continued on with the flowing conversation.

She was good, you knew just by looking at her, but you were more curious about _how _good.

You didn't even realize the train of your thoughts until you were excusing yourself and following the attractive blonde to the bathroom. You waited for her outside of her stall, leaning casually against a sink, looking calm and cool despite the fact that your head was a mess. You had no idea what you were doing or why you were doing it, but you were so damn curious, so damn intrigued by this mysterious woman for no reason and you wanted to find out why.

You watch silently as she opens the door to her stall and steps out, barely glancing at you as she turns on the tap, washing her hands in the sink that you're leaning against. You're so close to her that you can smell her, a mixture of heady perfume that makes your mouth water and the natural, clean scent of her skin.

"Hello," she greets you as she looks up at herself in the mirror, blinking her bright blue eyes that are lined perfectly with black eyeliner. "Alex, is it?"

"That's right," you reply softly, watching her closely as she avoids eye contact, drying her hands on a piece of paper towel. "And you're Piper. I've heard about you."

The sound of her name coming from your lips grabs her attention and she turns slightly to catch your gaze, her eyes widened slightly in surprise. It's only then that you realize how strange and slightly creepy you must sound, telling her that you've heard about her and you quickly explain yourself further. "I'm a friend of Nicky's. She talks about you all the time, said a lot of good things."

The blonde's expression immediately brightens at the sound of Nicky's name, as her lips part to reveal a bright, perfect white smile and her eyes shine fondly. The smile turns seductive after a moment and she looks up at you through dark eyelashes. "And bad things, I'm sure."

You don't expect her to be so bold and it surprises a laugh out of you, only causing your companion's smile to brighten even further. The woman is obviously attractive, but god, it doesn't take you long to notice how beautiful she is when she smiles and it only makes you want to make her smile more.

"Oh, yeah, Nicky can have quite a mouth on her sometimes."

"Don't I know it," The blonde practically purrs and the suggestive tone sends a shiver down your spine. Her blue eyes search your face briefly, trying to read your expression and then she smiles against, tilting her head to the side. "So, Alex, you know what I do for a living, what about you?"

You consider lying but Piper is probably even smarter than she seems and you know she would see right through your words, so you tell her the truth. "I work for an international drug cartel."

You expect at least a little bit of surprise, but if Piper is shocked at your words, she hides it very well. You can't help but tense slightly as her eyes study you; you know that telling people about your very illegal profession can be risky, but then again, Piper isn't exactly innocent herself.

"Sounds exciting," the blonde murmurs as she wipes her hands one last time with the towel before throwing it in the bin. "You get good benefits?"

"Medical and dental, no bodyguards though," you banter easily, your shoulders relaxing as Piper flashes you with that infectious smile. "Seems like you get a better deal than me, since half the bouncers in here are watching you like a hawk."

The fond look passes over her face once more as she replies. "They're good people and they keep me out of trouble. Your salary is probably triple mine though, you could always just buy a bouncer of your own."

"True." You reply with a smile, watching her as she watches you and suddenly, you feel the words coming out of your mouth before you can stop them. "How much do you charge a night?"

"Why?" She asks, with a mischievous smile that has your heart beating harder in your chest. Her bright blue eyes darken as she looks at you, making your knees feel weak. "Just curious or interested?"

You try to hide your emotions as best you can, but Piper can see right through you and before you know it, she's taking your hand and pulling you out the door. You're so focused on how soft her hand is that you barely notice the people crowding around you, barely notice that you've left the club until the cool night air is blowing against your flushed face. Piper is hailing a cab and she's totally in control of this situation and for once, you're okay with someone else being in control, because you're still trying to figure out what the hell you just got yourself into.

You slide into a waiting cab behind Piper and when the driver and Piper both look at you expectantly, you ramble off the address to the closest hotel. You glance at Piper out of the corner of your eye, since for some reason, you had expected to go back to the blonde's place, even though the idea seems stupid once you think about it. To be completely honest, you had kind of hoped to go back to Piper's, if only so you could get a look at where she lived, to shake off some of her mystery, but you had a feeling that Piper wasn't one of the girls you were going to figure out easily.

You both make easy conversation on the drive and it's a short ride, no where near as uncomfortable as you had expected. Piper had a way of making you feel comfortable, not to mention it was impossible to make the woman shy or awkward, even with the boldest of words.

When you entered the hotel and spoke with the lady at the desk, you immediately asked for the nicest room available. Why? You had no fucking idea why you were asking for the best room, paying so much money to impress a girl that honestly didn't really need impressing. She wasn't interested in a fancy room and she wasn't looking to be wooed, you knew, but you didn't want to make this experience feel cheap. Besides the fact you knew what you were doing was wrong for a hundred different reasons, you didn't want to make it worse by making this a bad experience for Piper. You wanted to show her a good time, to be kind to her, even if this was her job.

When you opened the door to the hotel room, you didn't know what the fuck to expect. Did you ask Piper if she wanted a drink, because god knew that you wanted one. Did you need to discuss how things were going to go? It didn't take long to realize that talking wasn't necessary, for the moment the door closed behind you, Piper was pulling you into a kiss.

And from that moment, you were lost, as you realized just how good this woman was.

Natural instincts kick in and you're kissing her back, your hands tangling in her golden blonde locks as she kissing you hotly, her tongue slipping expertly into your mouth. You push her back towards the king sized bed, lying her down before covering her body with your own and the moan that escapes from her lips almost throws you over the edge before you've even started. You kiss every piece of skin you can reach, moaning at the taste of her as her hands run up and down your back. You're breathing is ragged by the time she removes your shirt and you groan as you feel her lips press wet kisses against your collarbone.

"Fuck," you growl as you feel her fingernails glide over your abdomen, sending trails of fire over your skin. "You feel so good."

"I feel better in other places, darling," she whispers into your ear, her warm breath sending shivers up your spine as she pushes your hands beneath her dress. She presses your hand against her barely there underwear and your entire body shudders at the feel of the warm wetness against your fingers.

"Shit," you mutter, feeling almost out of control as you fumble to unzip her dress and pull it from her body. You bite your lip until you taste blood at the lean, tanned body that is revealed underneath, running your hands up the inside of her strong thighs until your thumbs are tracing over the wet silk that covers her pussy. You hook your fingers beneath the edge of her underwear before sliding them down her legs and then you're covering her body with your own, moaning at how good she feels underneath you, how you fit together so perfectly.

Almost like she was made for you.

You grind your thigh against her wetness and her hips rise to meet every thrust as she pulls your body closer, her fingernails digging into your shoulder blades as she moans softly in your ear. It's not long before her moans get louder and you can barely take it as you slip your hand between your sweaty bodies and run your fingertips along her dripping sex. Without a moment's hesitation, you push your fingers inside of her and her fingernails dig deeper into your back, drawing blood.

"Fuck, Alex," she whimpers into your ear, pressing her forehead against your temple as your bodies move in sync. "Shit, don't stop, please don't stop, baby."

You growl as you feel her hands run down your back, fingernails dragging along your sensitive skin until she's gripping your hips and pulling you down against her thigh. She moves your hips in time with your thrusts and there are colours dancing in your eyes as your feel a fire start burning in your belly. Sweat has your bangs sticking to your face as your bury it in her neck, crying out as you feel your body explode into a thousand pieces, hearing Piper's cry echo your own as her body shudders beneath you.

And then you're slowly falling back to earth, with her soft, husky voice whispering soothing words into your ear as her fingers caress your back. You feel her lips press softly against your temple, and you can't stop yourself from turning your head and catching her lips with your own in a long, slow kiss that restarts the fire in your stomach.

And then her hands are unbuttoning your jeans which are still plastered to your sweaty skin and you're smiling as you kiss her, until her hand slips between your legs and the night is not over yet.

/

You wake up slowly, stretching your long body and relishing in the way the cool sheets slide against your skin. You roll onto your side and reach for your companion, only to grasp cold sheets which sends your eyes flying wide open. The other side of the bed is empty; there's only some ruffled sheets and one golden hair on the pillowcase to prove that someone else had been there at all. It leaves you breathless for a moment, like a kick in the gut, and you're not sure why.

You know what last night was, but you still can't help but feel a little bit empty now that you lie here alone. You do this all the time, you remind yourself, these one night stands, but usually it's you that disappears in the morning without a trace. You feel a little bit used and you can't help but bark out a bitter laugh as you begin to understand a little bit of how Piper must feel every day.

It hits you then, just what you've done and what you were a part of last night and it almost makes you feel sick. It's not because you slept with a hooker, because you're all for new experiences and you try not to judge other peoples way of life, it's more because you paid another woman to use her body for your own pleasure. You feel dirty for using Piper as you did last night, just to satisfy your own desire and curiosity and you wish now that you had gotten her number so that you could talk to her and maybe apologize, which is so unlike you.

You wonder what she's doing now, as you push yourself out of bed and begin to gather your clothes from the floor. You wonder who she's with and how she feels and most of all, you wonder if you'll ever see her again. You bite your lip as you stand in the middle of the hotel room, fully clothed, with the scent of Piper still lingering in the air. You know you've got a flight to Berlin tonight and that you'll be gone for a week and a half, but you promise yourself to return to Litchfield when you get back, so that you can see Piper and apologize and maybe just talk this time around.

And even as you're thinking these thoughts, you know that you'd do last night all over again if you had the chance.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Different Life, A Different World**

_If I'm a pagan of the good time, my lover's is sunlight_

_To keep the goddess on my side, she demands a sacrifice_

_Drain the whole sea, get something shiny, something meaty for the main course_

_That's a fine looking high horse, what you got in the stable?_

_We're the lot of starving faithful_

_That looks tasty, that looks plenty, this is hungry work_

_Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog in the shrine of your lies_

_I'll tell you my sins, so you can sharpen your knife_

_Offer me my deathless death, oh good God, let me give you my life_

_Hozier – Take Me To Church_

_The sound of the cigar tapping on the edge of the crystal ashtray was exceptionally loud in the deathly silent room. You sat in a high backed chair by the fire, a chair which was much less comfortable than it looked, with Fahri standing by your side, his calm face illuminated by the flames. Your boss sat across from you, his dark eyes studying you over the rim of his scotch glass, and despite the warmth of the room, his stare was chilling you to the bone. Kubra had a way of staring right into your soul and it was more than enough to unnerve you, despite the fact that your face was a mask. _

_If you were perceived as weak, you already were, a smart woman once told you, so you kept your face calm despite the ice that was crawling through your veins._

"_We need this deal with the Russians to pull through, Vause," Kubra spoke softly as he swirled the scotch in his glass. "We need those trucks of theirs to carry our products through the borders and we need the safety that the Russian mafia offers to its friends. We can't have any more of this carelessness that Angus brought into our organisation, or that you brought us with that girl of yours." _

_You know better than to apologize, so you simply incline your head in agreement at his words, feeling a shiver run down your spine as the man guarding the door shifts, exposing the gun holstered at his waist. Kubra smiles slightly, the smallest rise at the corner of his thin lips, as if he has noticed your discomfort and is amused by it. You feel a bead of sweat run down the middle of your spine._

"_I don't like mistakes," Kubra continues. "And since this was your first, I'm going to let it go. You're a useful woman, Vause, and you are invaluable to this business, but you need to keep your people in line. I also want you to take over our affairs with the Russians, since I need Fahri to stay here with me in Berlin for a few months, until things settle down a bit."_

_You know what he's talking about, it's the only thing the other people in the cartel have been talking about for the last few weeks. Angus, who was taken down after a flight to New York from Jakarta, with a few kilos of heroin found in the lining of his suitcase, had been giving out names to the feds like candy to children at Halloween. He hadn't been stupid enough to rat out the higher ups yet, but several of your own mules hadn't been safe from Angus's traitorous mouth and you weren't stupid enough to think that your own name might not be offered up for a shorter sentence. You wished that you had spent more time with the cartel and therefore, had a sort of immunity in these sorts of situations, but you weren't high up enough yet to inspire enough fear to keep a mouth shut forever. _

_What you wouldn't give to be able to hide out in your little villa in Greece for a few months, until things died down, but unfortunately, someone had to keep the business running back in the states and that person was you._

"_Of course," you reply smoothly, giving Kubra your most pleasant smile. "I'll hold the fort back in New York, until Fahri returns."_

"_See that you do," Kubra replied, his cold eyes fixed on your own. "I want updates on our progress every week and I want this deal with the Russians closed by the end of the month. After that, I need you to do a few short trips for me and if you do well, I'll make sure there's a little bonus in your account when all this is done."_

"_Yes, sir," you smile, raising your own glass in toast before swallowing its contents, feeling as if the weight of the world was sitting squarely on your shoulders._

_/_

The club is less busy than you'd expected, which is both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because it means that the normally large crowd at the bar doesn't exist, which means that you are served within moments of leaning against the counter and it is a curse because there are less people to crowd around and block the view of the very illegal business going on in the corner of the room, that you are a part of. Thankfully, it is not long before the business part of your night is finished and you are simply sharing a few drinks with your colleagues, feeling the stress of the last few weeks begin to fade into the background as you knock back your fifth scotch and coke.

You've been back in New York for less than two weeks and you'll be happy to report to Kubra that you have managed to close the deal with the Russians in less time than expected. It was much simpler than you had thought, since the Russian mafia could not seem to look past that fact that you were a woman instead of a high profile cartel importer and you used that to your advantage. Playing the naïve girl that they expected, you managed to manipulate them into a deal far better than your boss could have ever hoped for. Instead of the initial fifty percent profit that they had been asking for, you had managed to talk them down to a measly fifteen percent for practically nothing and in return you got protection, transport and a promise from the Russian mafia to take out several of your competitors, which was worth much more to Kubra than the stupid vegetable trucks that would be carting your heroin through the borders.

Kubra was going to be very pleased with you, indeed.

You smiled to yourself as you let your eyes move past your new business partners, searching for someone that you could share this high with. A pretty woman to spend the night with was what you wanted and you felt your euphoria rise when you caught a flash of blonde hair by the bar.

It was Piper.

You had been so busy in the past few weeks, you barely had time to think about the blonde at all, though that wasn't saying that you hadn't thought about her. When you had least expected it, the gorgeous woman had entered your thoughts, both when you were alone and in the company of others and you hadn't forgotten her for an instant. You had hoped that you would see her again and it was just your luck that she would show up tonight, out of all the five times that you'd been at Litchfield since you returned to New York.

Unfortunately, it looked as if you would have to wait to speak to her, since Piper was already deep in a conversation with a man that sat beside her at the bar. You felt a pang in your chest as you watched Piper lay her hand on the unknown man's thigh as she laughed at something he said and you frowned in reaction to the unexpected feeling; jealousy.

How the fuck could you be jealous of a stranger, you wondered to yourself as you continued to watch the pair talk, especially since you barely knew Piper in the first place? You had met the woman once and for you, it was just a one night stand and for Piper, it was no more than a business transaction. God, you had barely even spoken to the woman before she entered a bed with you; you didn't even know anything about her other than her occupation. And yet, as you watched them, you could feel a strange twisting in your gut as Piper looked at this unknown man with those bright blue eyes, so full of seduction.

You found your opening when the man stood and started walking to the rest room, leaving Piper sitting alone at the bar, nursing a half empty glass. You excuse yourself from your colleagues, giving them your best smiles as you stand and head towards the bar, your eyes fixed on the object of your desire. Piper doesn't even look at you as you sit down on the stool beside her, just finishes her drink before turning to you with a fake enthusiastic smile, which drops almost imperceptibly at the sight of you.

"Alex?" She says your name and it makes you smile that she remembered, because despite your arrogance, you know that you were just one in a sea of faces for her. Even more surprising is how her smile becomes more genuine, how her body relaxes slightly when she looks at you, leaning her elbow against the bar so she can face you.

"Piper." You respond with a nod, smiling charmingly as you gaze into her ocean blue eyes. "You look amazing."

You have always been one for flattery, both fake and genuine to get what you wanted, but tonight, it's true honesty. Piper does look amazing, with her blonde hair up in an elegant bun and a dark blue dress that brings out the colour of her eyes and slides against her soft skin sensually with every bit of movement. She's smiles almost shyly at the compliment before giving you a bold look over, causing you to straighten slightly in your seat as her eyes run hungrily over your body.

"You don't look half bad yourself, darling," she finally says with a smirk, taking in your dark red dress that accentuates your curves, especially your generous cleavage. "You're here on business, I presume?"

"I was, but it's been concluded for the night," you say, raising your eyebrows suggestively, hoping that Piper gets the meaning behind your words. Her sly smile tells you that she understands, but you watch with disappointment as her eyes flick to the bathroom doors somewhere behind you, a flash of what you hope is her own disappointment in her eyes.

"Well, I'd love to spend some time with you, but unfortunately, I'm with a client of my own," she says softly, meeting your eyes briefly and there's a definite hint of regret there and you can't help but push this.

"I'll pay double," the words are out of your mouth before you even realise what you're saying, but you don't care. You haven't been laid in weeks and despite the fact you could pick up any of the women at this bar, you want Piper. "I'll pay you double whatever he was offering."

Piper's eyebrows raise in surprise at your words and you're surprised when she laughs. "Honey, I don't take _offers. _I know what I'm worth."

"Well, I don't know how that guy you were with could possibly afford you then," you say, laying on the charm to pull yourself out of the hole that you had dug yourself. "But whatever _you _were asking, I'll pay it and more."

She considers this for a moment, her eyes flickering once more to the door before she stands from her seat. You watch her with disappointment, expecting her to decline your offer after you had just offended her, but you're surprised when she smiles at you and holds out her hand.

"Five hundred for each hour, in cash," she says, raising her eyebrow in challenge as she stares at you. "Are you coming or do you need to stop at an ATM first?"

You can't help but laugh, knowing that the price was steep, even for Piper, but also unable to find it within yourself to care. Piper was worth it, you knew as you stood up and took the hand she was offering.

You almost felt bad for the guy that came out the bathroom a few moments later, looking for the woman that he had left at the bar; the one who was walking out of the club with someone else.

/

You are so fucking tired. Your body was pleasantly sore and you could feel your eyelids drooping closed as you rolled over onto your back, smiling at the way the sheets felt against your sweat soaked skin. There was an impossibly warm body lying beside you, breathing heavily as she curled up against your side, resting her head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around her, pressing your lips against her head as you inhaled, catching the smell of her and your lovemaking on her skin. It made you smile even more.

You had brought Piper back to the same hotel that you used the last time and after all the frequent and yet subtle touches that she had given you in the taxi, you could barely control yourself by the time you got to your room. You hadn't planned on losing control like that, but you found that you didn't mind giving up the control with Piper. You found that you actually _enjoyed _giving Piper the control, enjoyed the way she touched you and took you, bringing you higher than you'd ever been before. It wasn't what you were used to at all and you found yourself liking that.

Not to mention that Piper was an animal in bed and of course, you liked _that_.

You had fucked for hours, never stopping for more than a few minutes to catch your breath before you were on top of her again, or sliding underneath her. You found it almost impossible to stop touching her, wanting to hear her moan and say your name as she moved beneath you, digging her fingers into your back as you slipped your fingers inside of her. She was so goddamn sexy and just so genuinely beautiful that you wanted to touch every single inch of her skin, acquaint yourself with every freckle and every single scar.

It almost scared you because this was only the second time that you had met the girl and already you were finding yourself becoming addicted to her and the way she made you feel.

And now, you were too exhausted to move; content to just lay there with Piper in your arms as you slowly began to drift to sleep. You were dozing, on the edge of falling into a deep sleep when you were suddenly awoken by Piper moving in your arms. You opened your eyes when you felt the woman slip away, leaving your entire left side cold as you looked around the dark room to see where she had gone.

"Piper?" You called softly, your voice thick with exhaustion and you swear you could hear the smile in her voice when she replied.

"I'm right here," she whispered, from somewhere on the other side of the room. It made you frown because what the fuck was she doing all the way over there? It was cold.

"What are you doing?" You asked, running your fingers through your hair. "Get back over here."

There was silence for a few moments, a strange silence that made you sit up in the bed, squinting into the darkness until you finally managed to see Piper, frozen in the corner. You couldn't see her face, but you could practically feel the tension and the confusion radiating from her and it made you frown because you were way too tired to understand what was going on.

"Alex," she said finally, in a soft voice as she stepped closer to the bed. "It's almost five in the morning. I have to go. I mean… aren't we- aren't we done here?"

The softly spoken question hit you like a slap in the face and you were glad for the darkness that hid your expression from her. You swallowed thickly, finally nodding your head and clearing your throat before you spoke. "Of course, sorry. I'm just tired."

"It's okay." You can hear the smile in her voice again and then she's sitting on the bed beside you, lit up by the bit of moonlight shining through the blinds. She's once again fully clothed, with her hair up in a messy pony tail and she's smiling warmly at you and you can't help but smile back. She raises her hand and gently cups your face before leaning in to kiss you softly and you swallow a moan at the taste of yourself on her lips. She smiles again when she pulls away, gentling caressing your cheek before standing up. "I'll see you around, Alex."

It's not a question, it's the truth and you both know it. You nod your head and watch as she walks away, listening to the sound of the door closing faintly behind her as she leaves the hotel room. With a sigh, you fall back onto the bed, covering your face with your hands.

"Fuck," you whisper as you wonder just what in the hell you've gotten yourself into.

/

The weeks pass and you find yourself seeing more and more of Piper, since the woman seems to always be where you are. You go to Litchfield almost three or four times a week, usually for business but mostly for Piper and every single time, you take her back to the same hotel. Sometimes she's alone when you first see her, and sometimes she is with someone else, but you always manage to steal her away somehow and she jokes that you're going to have to start paying more, because she's beginning to lose customers, but you don't care.

You don't really want to think about her with anyone else anyway, so you don't mind paying extra.

It feels as if life is going perfectly for you, since you managed to bag the amazing deal with the Russians, Kubra has given you a raise, not to mention a healthy bonus that was added to your bank account unexpectedly. You recently brought a beach house in Cambodia on a business trip and you finally got your mom to accept the house you brought for her as a present and you couldn't be happier. None of your mules have been caught and it seems as if everything is going smoothly for once, especially since the Russians have started holding up their end of the deal, getting rid of one of your boss's biggest competitors. Everything is going great.

But slowly, ever so surely, things are beginning to change, too. It all starts about four months after you first meet Piper, when a friend of yours invites you to a bar to hang out with a group of people you know, including Nicky. You don't expect her to be there, but when you walk through the door of the bar, Piper is standing right there by the counter and it's like you're meeting her again for the first time. You've seen this woman in the most beautiful dresses, which are both revealing and elegant and you've seen her in sexy lingerie and completely naked, but you haven't seen her in normal clothes before. It's like looking at a completely different person, as you take in her tight black jeans and her slightly oversized white t-shirt, with a pair of black converse to top it off. It's all so casual and laid back and she rocks the look like she does everything else and you find yourself liking this Piper even more than the rest.

She greets you casually at the table, as she does with everyone else, giving no clue to anyone about your unconventional business relationship, but Nicky picks up something in your short interaction anyway. The crazy haired woman gives you a certain look that you can't decipher, but you shrug it off as you're pulled into a conversation with the woman next to you, only half listening as you manage to keep an eye on the blonde seated across from you.

Piper doesn't really talk to you at all during the night, but you catch her watching you several times when she thinks that your attention is diverted. There's something in the way that she looks at you which is uncomfortable, like she's trying to figure you out and you can't put your finger on it, until much later in the night, when you're watching her while you're waiting at the bar. You don't even realise that you're looking at her until she turns around in her seat and catches your eye and you receive that look again and it's like a punch in the chest.

Because her face is all worried as she looks at you and it's because she _knows. _

She knows something that you have barely even considered until now, that you try not to think about when she's lying in your arms after spending hours making love to you. She knows that this is more than just pleasure and fun for you, knows that you think about her all the time; that you can't wait for the next moment that you see her and touch her. She knows that you picture her face on every single woman that you hit on at bars and clubs, when you're trying your best to forget about her, at least for a few hours. She knows, she knows, she fucking knows that you're in love with her.

Fuck, _you're in love with her. _

You go home that night alone and sit on your computer for hours, scheduling drops off and transport and eventually, booking yourself a ticket to Paris, France. You think a little time away in the city of love might help you get over this new development, might even help you find someone else because you knew that you and Piper would never work. It wasn't because you didn't have anything in common, because you did; you both loved the same books and you both wanted to travel around the world and you both had the same views on everything. It just wouldn't work because Piper was just so unavailable, emotionally, and you would never be able to be with her, knowing that her work involved her to sleep with others.

You fall asleep that night, wondering if she would ever consider giving it all up for you.

It's that very thought that ends up being your downfall.

/

You go to Paris for a few weeks, but it all ends up being about work and you don't even spare a glance at the beautiful women that populate the city. When you get back to New York, everything is the same as before you left and yet, everything is different. You still go to Litchfield a few times a week and you still see Piper, but the way you interact with her is different from before and you know it. You spend more time just talking to her, getting to know her as much as you can with the vague answers she gives you about her life. You offer to take her out, to dinner and to parties and she always declines, smiling politely, but it's like she pulls away more and more every time you ask until you eventually stop.

You think she knows what's going on with you, think she knows what you want and the fact that she doesn't pull away and instead, seems to spend all of her spare time with you instead, gives you hope.

It's not long before you figure out that it was all just in your head; wishful thinking.

You come back home after a two week stay in South Africa and it's less than two hours later after you step back on American soil that you find yourself walking through the doors of Litchfield. Fahri is expecting you and since it's a Saturday night, you hope that Piper will be here and just the thought of seeing her again makes you smile brighter than you have in weeks.

But it fades almost instantly upon seeing Piper, with another person's hand on her thigh.

It makes you feel so fucking _stupid _because of course Piper hasn't missed you at all, hasn't been waiting for you to come home. You aren't her girlfriend or even her lover, you're just another client to her, probably one of many, and the only reason you haven't seen her with anyone else in so long is because you pay her enough when you're around so that she doesn't have to.

It's all very logical, but it doesn't stop you from feeling like your heart is being ripped out of your chest at the sight of her whispering into some man's ear, resting her hand on his chest as she pulls away to look him in the eye.

Her expression doesn't even change when she finally notices you, she just continues on as if nothing has changed, ignoring you as you sit there watching her, feeling so fucking betrayed that you feel as if you might cry. You want to leave, you want to go home and curl up in bed and you want to rage and fucking throw things, but instead, you stand up and follow Piper to the bar when she excuses herself, deciding to just talk to the blonde instead.

And that's when everything really falls apart.

It all starts off okay, because it seems as if Piper actually does feel guilty, that's she's not as emotionless about this as she looked only moments before. You know that she knows how you feel about her, how you feel about all of this, and the sadness and regret radiating off her in the beginning gives you hope that maybe she feels the same way. And then you go and ruin everything by offering her a job and the whole thing just blows up in your face.

And then you find out about the kid and your entire world seems to collapse around you.

"You have a son?" You ask, your voice low and full of disbelief, because you never, ever expected this. Despite the fact that you don't really care for children, have never really thought about having any of your own, you immediately begin to wonder what he looks like. You wonder if he looks like Piper and how old he is and you wonder how the fuck you never knew that he even existed, after spending so much time with this woman and it makes you feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

So lost in your own thoughts, you barely even notice Piper, whose face transforms from that of a deer caught in headlights to one of anger, anger at herself or at you, you're not sure and then she just explodes. You try to cut off her angry rant, try to tell her that you don't mind if she has a son, try to tell her so many things but she doesn't let you. You feel as if you're stuck in a car that's on a path racing towards destruction, as Piper's voice becomes angrier and angrier, until the inevitable collision when she tells you that this is over, that you and she are done.

And then she's walking away from you, leaving you bloody and broken, taking your heart with you as she strides out of the club and she doesn't look back, not even when you call her name. When she gestures to the man still waiting on the other side of the room, you imagine her crushing your heart in her palm, dropping it somewhere on the floor outside the club and all you can think is that you never really knew her at all, did you.


	3. Chapter 3

_Authors Note: It's been such a long time since I've updated any of my stories that I thought that I'd give you all a treat and update three of them in the space of a few hours. I've had all three chapters mostly finished for a while and somehow found the energy tonight to finish them all. This story has probably only one chapter left, maybe two, before it's all wrapped up. I kind of want to continue this story forever, since I love the characters in it so much, but we'll see how we go. _

**A Different Life, A Different World**

You go home the next day.

Not to your loft in the heart of New York, or to your villa in Greece or your new beach house in Cambodia, but _home. _You unlock the door to your old place, the one bedroom apartment that you grew up in which will be no longer inhabited by the end of the month. There are boxes all over the floor, half packed, and all the pictures of you on the mantle are missing, but the old couch that was given to your mom by a friend more than twenty years ago is still there, and all your postcards are still stuck up on the fridge and it's still home. There's music playing on the new sound system that you brought your mom a few months ago and you can hear her moving around in the bedroom, probably packing since you know that she doesn't have work today.

She comes out when you close the front door behind you and her immediate smile upon seeing you makes you feel better, even if only a little bit. But your mom is perceptive, even more so than you, and it only takes a moment before her smile falters and she's studying you with a slight frown.

"Al?" She asks, her voice husky from more than half a lifetime of smoking. "Baby, what's wrong?"

And then suddenly, so suddenly, you're crying and you can't seem to stop.

Your mom takes your hands and pulls you over to the beat up couch, sitting you down on the comfortable worn cushions and pulling you into her arms. You are almost thirty years old and yet the feeling of your mom holding you still manages to make you feel better, though you don't think anything could help fix the ache in your chest. You try to tell her that you're fine, that everything is okay, but you can't manage to get the words out past your sobs as your mother combs her fingers through your dark hair, humming soothingly into your ear.

"Alex, baby, what happened?" She finally asks again when you manage to quiet your sobbing, though the tears are still running freely down your pale cheeks. "Did something happen with you and your girl?"

The unexpected question is enough for you to pause, so surprised since you had never told your mom anything about Piper. "What?"

"Oh, don't play stupid with me, kid," your mom pulls back and gives you a look, eyebrow raised and lips pulled up in a smirk, one that you have perfected over the years. "I know the signs. You've been so happy for the last couple of months, all fuckin' lovesick smiles, so I figured you finally found yourself a girl."

You don't know what to say, stumbling over your words. "It's… it's complicated, mom."

"Isn't it always with you?" She snorts before sighing softly. "What happened? Did you two break up?"

"Something like that," you manage to say, grimacing as you wipe your nose. "Like I said, it's complicated."

You feel more than a bit embarrassed at the situation you got yourself into, but you tell your mom the story anyway, leaving nothing out. You know that your mom would never judge you, even over something like this, and you love her a bit more when she sits there patiently, just listening as she gently rubs your back when you begin to cry as you tell her about what happened last night. She makes a sympathetic noise when you finally finish, pulling you into her side.

"Well, that's some shit, babe," she murmurs, sadly. "What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know," you say, rubbing at your red rimmed eyes behind your glasses. "I mean, what can I do? It's not as if we were dating. I can't just call her and tell her that I'm sorry and I want her back, you know?"

"Yeah, but there's gotta be something that you can do," your mom responds, running her fingers through her messy auburn hair. "I mean, you were only trying to help by offering her a stable job, not that it is a conventional one, or even a good one." Your mom cuts her eyes at you here and you look away. "But it's gotta be better than what she's doing. I mean, I can't say that I don't understand, 'cause I know what it's like to be in her position, but I was lucky. My friend got me that job waitressing and I at least had some connections, but the poor girl, her parents probably disowned her when she had the kid and her asshole friends probably ditched her too."

There's a look in your mom's eye when she says this and the whole situation hits you that much harder, because Piper is so much like your mother. You haven't been able to stop thinking about that fact since your fight last night, since those words slipped out of Piper's mouth by accident.

"_I have a son to provide for."_

Except your mom had a lot of friends in her younger years, good friends that hung around when she had you and who helped her find jobs and cheap apartments. You know that Piper went to Smith, know that she was brought up in a rich family just from the way she is, little mannerisms that the blonde probably doesn't even know she has, but things you know to look for when searching for potential mules. She probably came from a conventional family, who expect you to get married to a rich man and _then _have children; not have a kid when you're barely out of college, with no father around. They probably did disown her, you think quietly to yourself, feeling a whole new sadness for Piper.

You didn't think that you could possibly feel worse, but you do. You feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

"You gotta talk to her." Your mom's voice pulls you from your own thoughts, her tone laced with determination and a bit of sadness. "You have to talk to her and make her understand and you have to try to help her, Al. No one should have to live the life that she's living and you could be the one to change that for her."

"What am I meant to do, mom?" You ask tiredly, running your fingers through your dark hair. "She wouldn't take my help when I offered it."

"No, she wouldn't take your _job,_" Diane replied. "But you know people, Al. You could find her a new job, you got connections."

Well, that was true, you had to admit that you did know all kinds of people, some who would be interested in someone as intelligent as Piper. The girl had gone to college after all, and while an English Lit degree didn't offer too much, you knew that there had to be something that you could find for her.

"I'll see what I can do," you finally say, nodding your head with a new feeling of hope blooming in your chest. You had to admit that your chances were slim that Piper would ever speak to you again, let alone take a job that you offered her, but it was the best chance that you had. It didn't necessarily mean that the blonde would forgive you, or even be your friend, but maybe she wouldn't be so angry at you anymore and you think that you could live with that. Even though it would still hurt like hell not to be with her, to not have your love returned like you wanted, you think it would be enough to just have her in your life in any small way that you could.

"Good girl," your mom grinned at you, gently rubbing your back. "And you make sure you bring her around when you finally get her back. I want to meet this girl that has finally tamed my daughter."

/

You end up throwing yourself into work for the next few months, because Fahri has found new clients, rich and totally addicted ones, and they want their drugs in bulk. Kubra has increased your output and you've got new mules to work with and you barely have any time for yourself. The business is flourishing and you are earning more money than you know what to do with, but somehow, somehow you still can't manage to get Piper off your mind. You never try to actively think of the blonde, because you're so busy and you don't have time for it, (and because it hurts so goddamn much) but she's still always there, in the back of your mind. So, anytime you have a spare moment, you make calls to old contacts, ones who aren't in your line of work, and you start looking around for jobs.

You start looking for anything that the blonde could be interested in, just so that you have an excuse to talk to her the next time that you see her, because you're honestly just sick of all of this. You're sicking of hurting and you're sick of the guilt and the anger and god, you really just want to see her. It's been more than three months since your fight and the blonde hasn't been to Litchfield ever since and you know it's because she's avoiding you, and that makes it hurt even more.

And then when you're at Litchfield one night, just having a few drinks with some clients, she's suddenly just _there. _

You're standing at the bar, getting another scotch when suddenly, her name is screamed right in your ear by the woman over the counter. You watch as the bartender actually _leaps _over the bar, rushing across the room towards the woman who has just reached the top of the staircase and you feel your heart jump into your throat. After all these weeks, you're finally seeing a ghost, the one who drifted into your life before disappearing without a trace.

You take a few steps towards her before you even realize what you're doing, so ready to talk to her, to _confront _her, after she left you the way she did. But you're stopped in your tracks when her blue eyes meet yours from over the bartender's back and even though it only lasts a few seconds, it feels like a lifetime. And Piper's eyes, those beautiful ocean blue eyes, they speak to you.

_Please don't, _they say. _Please, stay away. Can't you see that I'm falling apart?_

And so you sit back at the bar, order another drink and watch her. You watch as she talks briefly to her friend and you watch as she approached by a man, who seems to know her, though you doubt he knows Piper any better than you do and you don't know her at all. You watch as Piper leaves with him, without even offering you the curtesy of a glance and you order another drink.

Barely fifteen minutes later, you're approached by a young woman; brown hair, brown eyes, tall and curvy, the complete opposite of Piper and you think, why the fuck not?

But it's a mistake, taking the girl back to your apartment and fucking her, because it only reaffirms what you already know; that you love Piper and it's slowly but surely killing you.

/

It's a few weeks later and you're sitting at home, taking a final look at your spreadsheets when there's a knock on the door. You save the file and pick up your scotch before walking to the front door, wondering who the hell could be calling in at a late hour like this. You're more than a bit surprised when you open the front door and find Nicky Nichols standing outside, holding a brown paper bag in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other.

"Hey," she grins at you, raising the hand with a cigarette and giving you a small wave. "Is this a bad time?"

"Hey, uh, no," you murmur with a frown, moving aside to let your old friend wander into your apartment. "What are you doing here? I thought that you were clean."

"So quick to jump to conclusions, Vause," Nicky chuckled from your kitchen, where she was pouring a drink from the bottle of scotch she'd taken from her paper bag. "I'm not here for a hit; Red would fucking kill me."

You're confused, since while you and Nicky have been friends for years, she had never come around to your apartment before, at least not for anything other than drugs. "If you're not here for that, then why are you here?"

"Can't two old friends hang out?" Nicky asked, taking a sip of her drink and meeting your eyes over the rim of her glass. She chuckled at the expression on your face before resting her glass on the counter. "Okay, you caught me. I figured that I'd come over here and see how you were doing, after the whole Chapman thing."

You felt a sharp stab in your chest at the mention of Piper and it must show on your face, because Nicky makes a sympathetic expression and holds a hand out for your glass.

"Ah, shit, man," Nicky muttered as she took your glass and filled it with scotch. "I know that fucking look."

"What look?" You feign indifference as you take back your glass, shrugging your broad shoulders. "There's no look, Nicky."

"Don't start lying to me now, Vause," Nicky chuckled, her brown eyes sparkling. "I've been where you've been, y'know? I know that fucking look, I've seen it in the goddamn mirror. Piper… Piper is fucking great, you know? But she's unattainable, Vause; it's best if you just let her go."

You sigh as you take a seat on the arm of your couch, swirling the contents of your glass. You take a sip, savouring the flavour before looking back at your friend. "I really fucked this up, didn't I? I never thought…"

"You never thought that you'd fall in love with a sex worker?" Nicky asked, her eyes knowing and her expression empathetic. "Trust me, man, neither did I, but shit happens."

"I really thought that she cared about me." You murmur, mostly to yourself.

"She probably did," Nicky said, resting her elbows on your kitchen counter. "She seemed to care about you a whole fucking lot, actually, but the kid's got walls, Vause, giant, one hundred foot steel walls around that heart of hers."

"She's got walls," you agree with a sigh. "She's got walls and a fucking kid."

"Ah, so she told you about that, did she?" Nicky asked with surprise, her eyebrows raised into her hairline. "Yeah, she keeps James and Lucy pretty hush hush, since it's not exactly smart to be telling people that you're planning to have sex with that you've got kids waiting for you at home. Kind of off putting, you know? Plus, it keeps them safe from the crazy ones."

"Wait," you said, holding up your hand as your brow furrowed in confusion. "James _and _Lucy? I thought that she just has a son?"

"Well, biologically, yeah, she only has a son," Nicky corrects herself with a shrug. "But she's got Lucy around all the time. She pretty much took the kid in after she found out that her fucktard father was abusing her and so now Lucy hangs around and looks after James when Chapman has to work. She's a good kid, they both are."

"Jesus fuck," you whispered, dropping your head into your hands at this new information. "She's like a fucking superhero."

"Yeah," Nicky laughed in agreement, raising her glass in toast. "And thank God for all those special powers he gave her in the bedroom, if you know what I mean."

/

You're back at Litchfield and it's your first meeting with your new Russians partners since you finalized your deal, more than two months ago. It's a celebration of sorts, since the partnership has been substantially valuable to both parties and even Kubra showed up, hidden carefully in a dark corner of the club with the head of the Russian mafia at his side. The business is flourishing and the money is piling up and your friends and business partners have no problem with spreading that money around, keeping Litchfield's staff happy and even pulling a smile from Red, who is flitting around the edges of the large gathering.

Fahri suddenly appears at your side somewhere between your sixth and seventh drink of the night and for once, his smile seems completely genuine as he raises his glass in toast.

"To a new and prospering relationship," he says with a smirk and you raise your beer bottle in agreement.

"Cheers." You said as you both take a drink, watching the festivities with a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you were a big part in pulling this together.

"You did very well, Alex," Fahri murmured, giving a nod of acknowledgement to a shady looking man that walked past. "Kubra is very, very pleased with you. He spoke with me recently about giving you that holiday you've been asking for."

"Really?" You asked, surprised at this new revelation. "I thought he'd never give in."

Fahri nodded his head with a smile. "Since we have the Russians carrying our product through the borders now, there's less need for mules, so we can afford to give you some time off. He's giving you three months, starting tomorrow, with a nice bonus to see you through. Jack can handle the mules for now."

You feel a small amount of nerves roll in your belly at this and Fahri somehow manages to see through your mask and gives you a small pat on the back.

"Don't worry so much, kid, Kubra is _thrilled _with what you've accomplished. We aren't getting rid of you, but just know that Kubra and I are behind you and one day, there will be a nice little retirement package waiting for you. But not anytime soon, okay?"

"Good to know," you replied, feeling the weight lift from your chest as you breathe out a sigh of relief.

He gives you one last small smile before slipping past you, moving to stand behind Kubra's chair and you decide that maybe it's time to call it a night. You're exhausted after working so hard for the past couple of months, emotionally and physically, and you've had more than enough of the company of your partners in crime over the past few weeks. You drop your empty glass down on the table and give Kubra a small wave, which he returns, before turning to leave.

And that's when you see her, sitting alone at the bar, nursing an empty glass.

For a moment, you honestly consider just walking away, since Piper has made it clear that she doesn't want to see you anymore. You're tired and you're still very much hurting after your last meeting with the blonde and you don't want to ruin the high you've been riding all night.

But the decision was already made for you, the moment you saw her, and you're just prolonging the inevitable, so you walk slowly to the bar and order a margarita, which is served to you by Piper's friend, who gives you a quietly knowing look before she moves away to serve another customer. You smile slightly to yourself before walking down the bar and placing the cold glass in front of the blonde, who pauses in reaching for jacket to stare at the drink.

"Alex," she says your name softly, so softly that you barely hear it over the noise in the club and it makes your heart ache. You can see the slump of her shoulders and the tensing of her forehead as she stares at the glass and it makes a lump rise in your throat.

"Piper," you whisper, forcing the name past the lump in your throat and wincing at the ragged quality of your voice. You sound pathetic and weak and it's enough to finally cause Piper to look up at you with those blue, blue eyes that stole your heart almost a year ago. Her expression is one of exhaustion and uncharacteristic anxiety, but there's also a quiet longing there that causes the next words to slip from your mouth without any thought behind them. "Come home with me."

You don't expect it and neither does Piper, if the shocked look on her face is anything to go by. She starts shaking her head after a moment and you feel deep disappointment swoop in your stomach. "Al- Alex, I told you-"

"I know what you told me." You cut her off, sharper than you had intended, but the hurt is still there, so painful in your chest and you don't want to show it but you can hear it in your own words. It's so, so pathetic, but you continue anyway. "I know, but just- _fuck, _Piper- please."

"Alex," she whispers in response, sounding just as broken as you. "We- we shouldn't. I can't."

Despite her protests, you begin to feel more determined. "I can pay," you offer her, almost growling when she continues to shake her head. "I'll pay you double. Triple. Piper, come on."

The blonde hesitates at your offer and you know immediately that she needs this, though probably not for the same reasons that you do. You figure if she's desperate enough to return to Litchfield, she probably needs the money that you're offering and it lights a spark of hope in your chest. You feel your entire body relax as you watch Piper finish her drink before grabbing her jacket and sliding past you. You follow her through the club and down the stairs, all the way into the cold night air, where you quickly open the door to one of the taxi's outside and slide in behind the blonde. You rattle off the address to your place without thinking, though a part of you knows that this meeting between the two of you isn't like any of the others, so you decide that your apartment will suit the occasion. The trip is quiet and awkward and you're only too happy to pay the driver when he pulls to a stop outside your building, climbing out and closing the door behind Piper before you enter the building.

You can't help but glance behind you every few moments to make sure that the blonde is still there, since the nervous expression on her face makes you feel as if she will bolt at any moment.

The elevator ride is just as horrible, with Piper refusing to meet your eye and suddenly, this all begins to feel so wrong. Your hands are shaking when you finally exit the elevator, fumbling with your keys as Piper follows you to your front door and you're regretting your decision to bring her home with you.

You're regretting your decision to approach her at the bar, because it's so obvious that Piper doesn't want to be here and now you just feel like another one of her clients. You feel like just another one of those people that have used this woman's body, with her consent but without her want and it makes you feel sick. You're considering calling off the whole thing when you finally manage to open the door to your apartment, heading straight for the alcohol, since you're not sure that you can ask Piper to leave when you're still sober.

You make it to the kitchen and pour yourself a drink, watching as your guest wanders around your apartment. You're about to tell her to go home when the blonde begins untying the belt for her jacket, letting the fabric slip from her shoulders and onto the floor. You feel the lump reform in your throat at the sight, stalling your request for Piper to leave as you are rooted to the spot, watching her.

She isn't looking at you, instead choosing to look at the floor, which is such an uncharacteristic move for the normally confident, seductive woman. It only takes you a second to realise that she doesn't want to look at_ you_, for reasons unknown, and that knowledge feels like a punch in the chest. It's enough to snap you out of your stillness and you're once again about to ask Piper to leave, because this just isn't right at all, when her hands reach up to unzip her dress.

And you realise that you need this. You need this, you need Piper, if only for a night, if only for some kind of closure because it has been much too long since you've felt her body beneath your hands. You've watched people go through withdrawals from heroin and you're sure that this feels the same, the same as a junkie with the needle so close to their fingertips, wanting and needing that fix, to you with Piper's addictive skin so close, your palms begin to itch with the want to touch.

You're moving across the room before Piper's shaking fingers even begin to pull down the zipper, gently removing her hands to replace them with your own. Your mouth goes dry as her soft skin is revealed, as you push the straps down her shoulders until the soft material falls in a heap around her feet, leaving the blonde in only her underwear. You have to take a moment to remember to breathe, have to force yourself to step away, lest you take her right where she stands, because she is even more fucking beautiful than you remembered, somehow.

You take her hand and lead her slowly towards your bedroom, leaving her just inside the doorway as you pull out your wallet from your back pocket. Your heart is beating hard in your chest as you pull of a thick stack of notes, your mind screaming that this is wrong, wrong, wrong, as you place the money on the bed side table.

And then you begin to undress.

You can feel Piper's eyes burning into you as you pull your shirt over your head, and you've barely managed to unbutton your jeans before her hands are on you and it feels heavenly. You manage to kick off your jeans as she runs her hands up your back, unhooking your bra deftly before pressing her chest flush against your own. Her lips are hot and wet against your neck and you can't help the moan that escapes your lips as she pulls down your underwear, leaving you naked and aching for her touch. You just want more and more and more.

You need to touch her and you do, rougher than you mean to as you run your hands down her back, gripping her ass and pulling her tight against your body, but it's not enough. You push her down onto the bed and slide yourself beneath her open thighs, wanting to get closer, wanting to open up your chest and pull her inside. You feel her grip the back of your neck and suddenly your lips are crashing together, and the taste of her makes you whimper so pathetically, you want to cry.

And then you are crying, silently, but you don't stop; just bury your face in the pillow as you run your hands over her body. She's so warm beneath your touch, reacting to your every move like no time has passed as you pull off her underwear and run your fingers through her wet heat. It feels so good that a shudder ripples through your body and the need to be closer to her almost envelopes you. You push inside of her and it's your undoing, as the tears come faster, with her fingers digging into your back as her hips rise to meet your thrusts.

But then Piper is pulling away and you immediately avert your gaze, not wanting to stop, but her voice saying your name, so genuinely concerned, destroys you. "Alex?"

"It's fine, I'm fine, I- _fuck,_" your voice breaks and you feel your face crumble beneath the emotions that finally overwhelm you, causing the words you'd held inside for so long to finally slip out. "Piper. Pipes, I love you. I love you."

You feel Piper's entire body tense and you immediately hold onto her tighter, slipping your fingers from inside of her to wrap your arm around her waist and pull her close. It feels as if your entire world hangs in the balance, as Piper's body refuses to relax and you practically feel the panic seeping from her skin.

But then Piper smiles, a sad smile, wiping at the tears that continue to cascade down your cheeks, and it gives you the courage to beg her. "Please, don't go. Please. Please, stay."

You can see the emotions in her eyes, know her decision before her body finally relaxes into the mattress and it's enough. You feel your entire body collapse on top of her as she runs her fingers through your hair, overwhelmed with relief as her voice whispers in your ear.

"I'm here. I'm here."


End file.
